Last night Mavity slept in her own bed in her own room, while I slept in my room, for the very first time. *sniffle*. A few weeks ago she slept in her crib but I slept on the couch because I felt like my room was just too far away from hers. But last night I put her to bed in her crib and I actually slept (kind of) in my room.
Around 9:30pm I put Mavity to bed in her crib in her room. It wasn't hard at first because I wasn't going to bed yet. I went and watched TV for a while and then decided I needed to get some sleep. I first had to go check on her to make sure she was ok. I peeked in at her and all of a sudden got a case of the "new mommy fears". I started panicing that she was going to suffocate in the bumpers or that there was going to be a scorpion in her bed (even though I already checked for them). I worried that she would all of sudden learn how to sit up or stand up and would fall out of the crib. I worried that the baby monitor wasn't going to work and that she would be crying all night and I wouldn't hear her. While I stood next to her bed crying and worrying she woke up. Oops! I ducked down and listened to her babble for a while to see if maybe she would put herself back to sleep. She may have actually done this had I not stood up to look at her and been spotted. As soon as she saw me she had me. She started crying and I picked her up and was actually glad to be holding her in my arms. I rocked her back to sleep, fighting the urge to nurse her (don't want to start a bad habit of nursing in the middle of the night again). When she finally fell back to sleep I debated on putting her back in her crib or just taking her to bed with me. I went against my irrational fears and I put her into her own crib. I told her I loved her and closed the door to her room. She was a big girl sleeping in her own room, in her own bed without her mommy sleeping on the couch.
All the way to bed and sleep, I cried. I couldn't help but feel like I was rushing her to grow up. She is only 4 1/2 months old, what is the big hurry? But then a rational thought popped into my head and I realized that if I didn't start it now it was going to be a fight later. This thought calmed me enough to stop crying. I closed my eyes and tried to will myself to sleep. Every few seconds I had to check the baby monitor just to make sure it was still working. I finally fell asleep for a few hours. I woke up at 2:30 and went to check on her. I peeked into her crib and she was fast asleep and looking very content. This made me feel better. I went back to bed looking forward to her waking up so I could bring her to bed with me.
At 4:30 she woke up and made a tiny sound, then made a little bit bigger of a sound. I'm not even sure that she cried but I was up and on my way to get her. I brought her back to bed with me, fed her and then slept comfortably knowing that my baby was cuddled up next to me.
I put her down for a nap, today, in her crib so she and I will get used to the idea. Plus I'm tired of moving the monitor from room to room. She is sleeping well in her crib and in fact I think she actually likes it.
It's hard to do the right things when it comes to my baby. I'm selfish and I want to do what I want to do, but it's not always what is best for her. I have to realize at some point that she is going to grow up even if I don't want her to. She is getting bigger and more mature by the day and as much as I enjoy it, it is hard for me to accept. Motherhood is the most incredible, amazing, difficult thing a person could ever do. I love my Mav more than life itself.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
you are so cute! at 10 weeks phil put the monk in his crib one night and i asked him to bring him into our room because i wasn't ready. the next night i decided to give it a try and for the next few days i would put him to bed in his room and then wake up when he needed to feed and then bring him into our room until we got up. after a few days of that i decided to try to feed him in his room and put him back in his crib and he slept better than ever. now he goes to bed by 10pm, sleeps until 6am and then goes back to sleep for 2-3hours. it is fantastic!!! knowing that it would be harder to break those habits later helped me too!
Post a Comment